This was my essay about Isabel before all the revisions, as you can see I have come a long way from this.
A love like Isabel
Isabel came like a thief in the night stole my heart, and changed my life forever, inspiring me to do better everyday and to reach for the impossible, bringing color to my life when everything was black and white. It’s crazy how someone so small can change your life in a split second.
Life before Isabel was wild and crazy and not very good. I would do things to put my life at risk because I didn’t care, going out drinking and partying every chance I got, also put my life and others’ at risk by drinking and driving. Being reckless and having a great time was all I cared about. It came down to the point where my family had to step in and tell me that I needed to calm down because I was going to end up killing myself. Not wanting to pay attention to them I continued my lifestyle.
Finally I started to calm down a little when I met a guy named Alfonso. We were in the same Chicano Studies class together at Ventura College. Immediately when I saw him I had a crush on him. He was tall, slender, beautiful hazel eyes, and I will never forget his cologne it had the sexiest masculine scent to it. We dated for several months. The beginning is always beautiful and fun but then things started getting rocky in our relationship. As I was older than him, our age difference started to become noticeable. Having made the decision to terminate the relationship I found out I was pregnant.
Pregnant, I couldn’t believe it. The first feeling I had was fear because I come from a traditional Catholic family and to have a baby before marriage was like being condemned. Disappointed in myself I couldn’t believe how irresponsible I had been. Not feeling ready to take on a responsibility this big I contemplated not having the baby. I was also scared to see what Alfonso was going to do and say with the news.
Clearly remembering when I told Alfonso brings back terrible feelings. He was sitting in his living room watching the Raider game. I contemplated when the right time would be to tell him I waited until the game was over. Waiting for two hours before telling him made it the longest two hours. I kept looking at him and holding back the tears. Finally, his game ended and we went to his room. I sat down on his bed looked at him and said “I’m pregnant. You’re going to be a dad”. We both couldn’t help but cry because we knew our relationship was rocky. His first words were “It’s going to be ok I will be there for you and the baby. Everything will work itself out.” It was comforting to hear him say those words.
My next task was dealing with both families. Feeling scared to see how my parents were going to react, I told my mom first thinking she was going to be supportive. Was I wrong!? she was mad, and didn’t talk to me for a week. My dad was very supportive; he knew Alfonso was a good guy so he didn’t worry too much. Alfonso’s family was angry saying, “What kind of girl is she? Who did you involve yourself with?” I was not the person they perceived me to be. They seemed as if they didn’t want me to keep the baby, like I was ruining his life, and making me thing maybe he would be better off without me and the baby. All this made me sad and depressed not wanting to do anything. I dropped out of school and started doing poorly at work.
Continuing to be sad for several months. I finally felt the baby move. It was the weirdest feeling, like she was tickling my stomach, letting me know that she’s in there. After feeling her move something inside triggered me to snap out of the depression. This moment has been the best for me. It made me feel like I had a reason to keep going, a reason to live.
The big day was June 7th. I had to have her by c-section because the baby was having problems due to the umbilical cord being wrapped around her neck. Alfonso and I were scared because we knew that our lives were about to change forever. As I was getting prepared for the c-section everything around me seemed unreal. Everyone seemed to be moving in slow motion. Time was going slow. It took 3 minutes to deliver but it felt like hours. I had given birth to a beautiful baby girl named Isabel Mya Andrade.
Hearing her cry for the first time made me feel happiness I have never felt before. When I finally held her and kissed her I couldn’t help but cry. It was the most beautiful moment in my life. Isabel was the most beautiful person to me. She had chunky cheeks, lots of brown hair, and skin of porcelain. While I was holding her I began to think to myself, “She is going to love me unconditionally, she is going to look up to me, I’m going to be her all, I’m her mother I have to set an example for her.” Seeing things in an entirely different way made me have feelings I never thought possible. I knew I needed to change my life because I wanted only the best for her.
Life with Isabel is amazing. She grows and learns something new every day. She makes me smile when I’m mad and makes me happy when I’m sad. I’ve found strength in me that I never knew I had. When I feel weak I look at her and by her smile, touch, or scent I find my strength. I feel warmth in my heart when she calls me mama. It’s amazing being a mother. There is nothing in this world that could compare to the joy she gives me every day.
Isabel has made me a better person, she pushing me to go above and beyond. She has helped me put my past behind me, trade in the beer for a bottle, and the clubs for books. Like Picasso said “Inspiration is something that commands me to work every single day,” writes Donald M Murray in “Craft of Revision” (25). Isabel is my inspiration to work even harder every single day and to be successful in life. She is the reason why I’m back in school to be the best, to do the best, and to become the best. I love her so much and thank her every day for choosing Alfonso and me to be her parents.
